So Top-Secret, the Americans Don't Know About It

We were at a place for burgers a while ago and next to the ketchup was a white squeeze bottle hand-labeled "Hamburger Sauce."  We had no idea what it was so we stayed away from it. 

A few months later we went to a friend's house for dinner.  He was excited to have Americans try his burgers.  We love burgers, so this was a great idea to us as well.  He made the patties by hand and grilled them on the stove (it was winter!) while cooking potato wedges in the oven.  It smelled so good it was hard to wait.  When everything was done we went to sit down and eat.  He had all kinds of toppings on the table: pickles, tomatoes, lettuce, curry ketchup, regular ketchup, fig mustard, spicy mustard, and Hamburger Sauce.  I was so excited to ask a German what in the world this sauce was, so I did.  I got a quizzical look.  "Don't you know?"  I had no idea and had yet to even try it.  He was completely shocked.  I understood why when I looked more closely at the bottle. It says American Hamburger Sauce.  They sell it over here like Americans all eat this on their hamburgers!

This one at least says American "style."

We tasted it and have decided it is a mixture of mayonnaise and mustard and something like Thousand Island dressing (maybe due to pickle relish).  I feel like someone tasted a Big Mac and thought that was American Hamburger Sauce. Of course, it is actually pretty good on hamburgers.

A bit later, our friend's girlfriend, who had to work late, came in.  As she fixed her burger she reached for the Hamburger Sauce and he couldn't wait to tell her that it wasn't American.  But look at the flag, she said as she pointed to the bottle, of course it is American.  (And it is a US flag, so it isn't, say, from Canada or Mexico which could also count as American.)

I don't know who the joke is on, Germans who buy American sauce that doesn't exist in America, or the Americans who don't even get to buy the sauce they supposedly have.